Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
