Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
