yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
