I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize