you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
