You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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