dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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