I'm going to jail i love you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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