I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize