Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
