Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
