did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize