what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
