coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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