he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize