The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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