Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize