spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
