I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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