I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
