hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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