whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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