So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
