Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
