omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
