I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
