I am in a vortex of obligation.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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