OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
