is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
