I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
