im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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