Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
