went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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