I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
