Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ladies don't puke and tell
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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