he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
