we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
