OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
