these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
