Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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