I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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