moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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