you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
