WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My vagina just clenched in fear
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
