Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
