at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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