How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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