Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
