we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
