ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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