i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As shirtless as possible
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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