New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
