And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
