apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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