My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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