they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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