I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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