Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
