we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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