Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
