If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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