Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
two words: eviction party
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
