I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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