dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
All I want is dick and wine.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize