so let's talk penis.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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