i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
