In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
